Deliberate Parenting

The most important task any of us will ever undertake in our lives is the raising of our children. Creating an environment and a moral structure where they can grow into the potential that God has planned for them. There is so much for them to learn. We have "skills" to teach them such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, finances, etc... In the big scheme of things these are fairly simple... we decide upon age appropriate tasks and teach them to do those things we feel are necessary for them to find their way through life.

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The bigger task, and the one requiring the most thought and deliberate parenting, is what are our most important values and how can we develop those character traits in our children for them to live out those values. Most of us only have some vague idea of the outcome we are trying to achieve... we want them to be honest, kind, generous, strong, motivated, etc... but haven't ever really decided on a plan to obtain those outcomes.

That part takes Deliberate Parenting. Deliberate parenting takes time, energy and effort. How will you know you've succeeded? When you see who your grandchildren grow up to be. We aren't just raising our children. We are raising the next generation of parents. What we do or fail to do will affect our families to the 3rd and 4th generation.

This is what 3T is really all about. How do you help someone internalize the values and character traits and pass them on to the next generation. The bible says... raise up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it. What an awesome task and privilege we have been given. This prayer that Douglas McArther said for his son epitomizes what I hope to accomplish with my own sons and what I hope 3T will help you accomplish for your sons and daughters.

Build me a son, 0 Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak; and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee -- and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men, one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.

Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, "I have not lived in vain!.